S&M… That’s Sir & Madam, actually!

Sir & Madam, Guildford

Despite the fact I have zero funds, I have managed to visit Sir & Madam twice in the space of a single week! On both occasions I ate pretty much the same meal too, which is shocking behaviour when you know you’re going to write a review and could offer some thoughts on more than one dish.

Oh and I should probably mention, since it’s not that obvious, Sir & Madam is a Thai restaurant, which I have now eaten at 3 times in total.

So in traditional OCD style I am going to use exactly the same headings as I did for my review of Jamie’s. This is both a blessing and a curse, because it means that you can compare and contrast (thumbs up) but it also means I have to remember what I did and that if I come up with something new and clever I don’t really want to add it. (Predictably, in fact, I have just thought of something I didn’t mention last time and not only have I come back to mention that here, it has meant adding a whole new paragraph to my long since finished review of Jamie’s Italian. Bugger.) Never mind though, perhaps, as usual, I should stop thinking out loud about how I write my blog and actually get some proper words down on the metaphorical paper. (I could use actual paper, but then the only beneficiary of my review would be me… and my mum after I’ve made her read it. (My mum doesn’t actually need to read it either, she was the person I went with the first time. (HI MUM! (See, I still force her to read it on here too! (Is there a limit to the number of brackets you should put within brackets?)))))

First Impressions

I am delighted to be able to tell you that Sir & Madam is located up Jeffrey’s Passage… or down it, depending on your angle of approach! Jeffrey’s passage leads off Guildford’s High Street on to the parallel ‘2nd’ shopping street in Guildford’s town centre. Local’s will know where I mean, outsiders should simply aim for the little passageway kind of opposite Sainsbury’s at the top of town. Apart from the obvious hilarity of the name, and I do love a good Jeff related pun, this street, or passage, more accurately has a number of little shops well worth checking out if you’ve not been down that way before.

In terms of the restaurant itself, it is a little hamstrung by the location in terms of how it looks from the outside, although I do think its in the ideal spot. If anything though it’s a plain and unobtrusive frontage which offers little to catch the eye.

Despite visiting on a Wednesday and a Sunday (not prime nights for eating out) the restaurant was nicely full on each occasion. There was couples and groups, but not every table was full, suggesting that there is no need to book, at least not on a Friday or Saturday. Given that the restaurant is small, but spacious, the ambience is great. The decor is simple but you tend to find that with good food and better company that you shouldn’t be staring at the walls much anyway!

My mark is a little harsh here given that I think it’s a great place to come, but given that it is easily lost down this back passage (seriously, the scope for puns is endless!) with no strong presence, I have to give a slightly lower mark for the first impression. Second third and forth impressions are much better!

3.5/5

Service

It has to be said, the service is excellent. You are greeted when you enter and generally given a choice of tables, with couples encouraged to use a larger table if they prefer. The waitresses are all well turned out, either wearing traditional Thai dress or a Singha uniform. Unlike with some restaurants, you are not attended to by one individual, with the whole staff pitching in to serve. They are both attentive and the food is quick. My waitress on my first visit was called Meow, and whilst this may be a little culturally uncouth, this, quite frankly, sealed the deal. Who can resist a Thai woman called Meow? The opportunities are endless!

5/5

Food

On, once again, to the make or break aspect of the restaurant experience, the nom noms… I mean, for those of you not prone to talking like a child, the food.

I don’t know how to speak Thai-ish, so I don’t know what any of the dishes are actually called (although I have heard of Pad Thai before and Thai Green Curry!) Luckily for you though I chose things with sensible names… I am good to you.

There are a few set menu options, even the meals for 2 seem to come with a vast amount of food though, so on each occasion I stuck with choosing individual dishes from the menu.

For my first visit I had Thai Crispy Duck Spring Rolls to start and Thai Fried Rice with Chicken for the main. Second time around I mixed it up with the sharing platter as the starter and Thai Fried Rice with Chicken as my main course. I honestly do like trying new things, I promise, just not this time!

The Duck Spring Rolls were lovely. Admittedly they were hotter than the sun when they arrived, but once you have busted through the pastry casing to the goodness within and allowed the cool air to circulate the whole concept seems like utter genius. Yes you don’t get the joy of watching someone tear the flesh from a cooked duck, nor do you have the chance to roll your very own preferred combination of duck, cucumber, spring onion and hoi sin in a pancake, but do you really need all of that? The spring roll approach is lovely and the little pot of hoi sin ensures you have all you need.

My alternative starter was probably the best choice on the menu, especially if you are dining with more than one person. You are provided with 2 of each of the following: Satay Chicken Skewers, Spare Ribs, Prawn Toast and Vegetable (sort of) Spring Rolls. (I feel like I missing one, but I’ll be blowed if I can remember what it was.) Each item was as tasty as the last and although there was plenty there it wasn’t too filling. My pick of the bunch was the spare ribs, maybe it was because I got to eat both, but the meat just seemed to fall off the bone and they tasted fantastic.

Perhaps one benefit of having the same meal twice was the ability to confirm the quality of the food is consistent, which it certainly seems to be. Although there are far more interesting things on the menu, with a choice of currys and other dishes, the Thai Fried Rice is a great choice. Although at first glance it’s simply egg fried rice with chicken, there is something a bit extra about Thai food which makes that ok. Where Chinese or Indian flavours are strong or harsh on the pallet, Thai offers subtle flavours through every dish. The rice is well cooked and although the egg and chicken the main other ingredients, there is also onion and some tomato in there which keeps the meal interesting. I can’t fault what one would normally assume to be a plain dish and it was good enough to have me coming back for more.

I didn’t have the desert on this occasion, although I have tried the deep-fried ice-cream in Sir & Madam before. This is another aspect which, in my experience, Thai restaurants do so much better than their Chinese counterparts; Sir & Madam is no different. With bespoke desserts rather than mass-produced, frozen rubbish they are much more interesting. I had to try the deep-fried ice-cream for the experience and it’s certainly sweet and rich. A little too much for my taste but something which has to be seen to be believed!

We did have a bottle of wine on my second visit, the Pinot Grigio, but as ever, I know nothing about alcoholic grape juice, so I will offer no opinion. We finished the bottle, but that doesn’t say much either!

5/5

Price

I have called this section price, but in reality what I mean is value for money. I once had a meal which cost £100 a head and whilst the price was high, I considered that meal to be good value for money too, so don’t be fooled! Here though, the prices are low and the value for money is high. I really can’t fault the cost here, offering an alternative to the cost and quick turnaround at alternatives such as Thai Terrace with no compromise on the quality of the food.

With 2 courses and a bottle of wine we paid £20 per head on my second visit. The first was even cheaper, with the total bill coming closer to £35 for the two of us, although we did not have wine that time around.

5/5

Overall

I can barely fault this restaurant. I fear even many locals are either unaware of the place of have simply walked past it, not drawn in by the bland exterior. However, apart from this, in many ways it’s hard to fault and I almost hope no-one else does discover this place really, with the atmosphere and service already just right.

4.5/5

1,602, two meals at a nice restaurant are obviously inspirational!